May 26, 2002
Now about that dream. I told Ray while I was in it: “I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.” And I was thinking about this apartment right above Breve but there were complications. Flood in Forest Park, pumping their lungs but damaging, driving with Mom, Brook in FP thread, out of season going uphill, I feel bad, save two babies. Morning after series of crazy dreams. More threads:
Strange afternoon nap dream. Me & Jack driving; big frat guy jumps in. I take cigar from his mouth & put it in his eye. Then they all come over to my house & I try to kill them but can’t; chopping stabbing slicing. Call Ray over. Tell Mom it’s matter of life and death; her & dad back from walk. I determine that they’re all dead, that’s why I couldn’t kill them.
In another thread there is a sinkhole in the house. I tell Nick, Adam Schwartz, & someone else—Ginny Busch—that I’m coming to play B-ball with them but I stop & talk to Mom & Dad about the sinkhole; Mom is preparing brunch. When I get out to B-ball, those three have all finished, saying they were going inside for brunch. It turned out, though, that brunch wasn’t ready until 20 mins. later; Adam was not happy with me.
Later I ran into Ginny working at a bank and she said something like, “At first I thought you were just really shallow but then I read your book and…I think you’re special,” or something like that. She was talking about my DayMinder and I was like: you read my book?!?
Wake 6:30a; shower; then bathroom, sip some water, get back to bed, sleep till Em’s alarm goes off (7:30 a) and get up; but I’m feeling really shitty, my stomach in knots & thinking of retching; take first gruel-some shit.
Lay in bed, sit in bathroom, go down to eat 8:20a or so [8:05 am] and say guten tag instead of guten morgen. Ask for kah-fay & get some OJ but no food. Sit at table, sip, & start to write some but I’m feeling like absolute shit. Em comes down about now and tells me to eat something.