Babler State Park, April 2018

But Meg said, but Greg said.  Camp host reading Stephen King.  Spooky.  The Cardinals lost, the Nationals lost.  Padres at Rockies now, from Coors.  There was a brawl in this game.  Rox lead 5-0.

I turn down the sound of a commercial.  It felt especially out of place here.  In Denver you go to Applejack Wine & Spirits.  In Chicago it’s Binny’s Beverage Depot.  Heck, these days you don’t even have to go to the Binny’s store, they’ll bring it right to your door.  Joe Maddon told me that.

I went to Binny’s a couple of times when I lived a summer in Chicago.  That was back when beer was blowing up, craft beer—or microbrews, as they were then known.  I heard the Tampa Rays announcer yesterday talking about how he used to live in Chicago.  He was doing a Rays game against the White Sox.  It struck me that a lot of people have once lived in Chicago, midwesterners at least.  My brother and sister both live there now.  

I’ve only ever once been to New York City.  The Big Apple was the setting for a book I just read.  It made me want to visit again; or, it made me wish I’d been born there, had a chance to spend more than a few days of my life there.  I don’t think I could move to NYC now.  Not as a dog owner.  Not even as a married man.  I would’ve had to have lived there young.  If I were living in NYC I’d have to be able to float around.  I could have a job but no attachments outside of that.  Otherwise I think the City would crush me, wring me out, drive me mad.


Camping a night in Babler Park five years ago...

Fervent Ye Faithful

by Phil Williams

 whither you come from
  -or-
the magic eight-ball

i venture into something, it's a mind-blower, but i gotta keep it under wraps for j-rand. 
see: i had envisioned a wry conversation/transcription that was intertwined. red-vines 
and mr. pibb; chronicles.

adjacent antecedent (i.e. addendum): the spatial discrepencies had been a problem, but 
the chronological shifting was downright vexing. first it was 2004, then 2007, then 2003, 
the years and specific dream ramblings resemble a rorschach test; it's another brick in 
the wall.

the wood desired chasing, and the family desired spaghetti. sorry, but my thoughts get 
confused, like waves in the midnight surf. german balloon aka led zeppelin: it parks its 
dreams @ ground zer0. eros may have called, but failed to identify himself, leading me 
to this shell of thoughts. it could be an atkins of fiction.
 
outra-verted, a word i wordlessly think when i encounter 'yar.' i consider the rivulet to 
my s(l)ide, but conclude she's w/ the tall man. i'm obviously hallucinating. the police 
have arrived and i've simply said the word 'plant.'

realizing i had entered a house of mirrors and drugs, i texted j. still and nick s. they 
were part of my cleaning crew in the mid 90's. i suddenly understand that i'm alone and sweating, 
in a basement, no shaman. the disorientation slowly dissipates and my carb-stricken mind intuits 
the next phase may require an umbrella, inverted.

The Opposite of a Black Hole is a Big Bang

The beginning of the end of
The last history. This side
Of a black hole, a big bang, the
Epicenter, the mother lode, the lode star.
A star that leads, especially the
Polestar, the North Star of the Universe,
What is always in the center, 'lode' meaning
'The way,' the journey, the journey star.
From here to there, back from
Where we used to exist, via intergalactic canal,
Rowing upstream, rowing home,
Going back in time, into the place we
Go when we dream, time there
Suspended, fact there garbled and twisted.
It is all very real but also
Very far away, as if
It never even happened.

St. Louis to Portland in Ten Minutes

EmFamm was in an early thread.  That's all I remember of it.

Somewhere along the way I was doing a crossword and "impatientism" was an answer.  I was pretty amazed that anyone knew what it was.

I was walking through St. Louis with my sister.  She was walking through some strange areas and I was wondering where the heck she was going.  But then we stumble onto some sort of Pool District.  A couple of big public swimming pools.  She wants to go swimming.  I follow along.  She goes up this enormous tiered high dive.  Several boards and you could jump from what seemed like hundreds of feet.  A bit too high for me.  I walked back down.

Last thread.  I discover that I can drive from St. Louis to Portland in ten minutes.  It was just down Hanley (or Delmar?).  You just drive along and bang!, there's Portland.  Wow.  It did look like I remembered.  I parked this truck I was driving.

I walked away for a couple minutes.  I come back and some guys are taking the stuff out 'the back of my truck.  I was like, "What the fuck are you doing?"

There was a scuffle.  I yelled out at this parked cop car that I saw.  They come running.  But before they get there one of the guys tries to stab me by reaching behind my back.  I grabbed his wrist and stopped him.  I think I then stabbed him.

The cops said they had been tailing these guys for awhile.

[01.30.2008]

read the cbw response here

Ray on Books, Dreams, and Drinkin’

R: I haven’t figured out Motorcycle Maintenance yet. It’s probably because I’m only halfway through it. It seems like he says so much. And then today I noticed I’m only halfway through it, and I’m like, “Oh, yes.” Cause it’s such easy reading. Like the point’s…. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s this guy who’s like, he writes technical manuals.

J: Mm-hm.

R: And he’s on this motorcycle trip with his two friends and his son. And he keeps referring to this guy called, um, Phaedrus. P-h…like Greek thing. And supposedly this guy, like, lived in the fifties. What I think it is is that the narrator was this person. And he got electroshock therapy, but he doesn’t remember it but he kinda does a little bit, ya know?

J: Mm-hm.

R: And he was, like, cause like, the son will reference like, “You used to teach here.” Type stuff. And so like, I don’t know the whole deal yet, but like, it’s basically, like, this guy’s journey. Like, he’s a philosopher and doesn’t know it type of thing. And he feels this presence, and it’s him...


Find the full dialogue here...