Here I am
at
ROCK BOTTOM
again
Death, death, death, and destruction
Bourbon at 13:00—
Song helps,
a Nobel would do better.
Hand to forehead,
seated,
elbows on desk—
staring, stoned, bereft
all of the past up to the present
& this is what's left.
I remember walking around, late morning with a couple of guys. Older than me. One might have been the publisher of West End Word. Although he acted differently (i.e. not gay). We sat at this restaurant and I was thinking about getting a drink. At first they didn't seem interested in a drink but the … Continue reading West End Word II
First Full Day — morning
I am attending to a sunrise in Jamaica. Rightly I am not awake yet. Waves, waves, dolorous waves. Peltering shores at dayfall.
Why is it getting light in the west before it gets light in the east? The east is dark, blue. A tiny boat out ripping the water is black.
Last night a jumbo airliner flew in from Costa Rica, I’m sure of it.
Brett got a taste, Pat a tree. I put a tiny leaf in my pocket & smiled at the smell.
56
When I watered my jade
With Schlitz
Of course it died
57
To set the clock
I look to see what time it is
While holding the missing clock
58
It’s been weeks
But finally I hear it —
The rain
59
Stuck but not
Dead in winter
Plotting Spring
60
If someone came and
Hacked to death whatever —
Quiet home
51
What’d I write last night?
The morning is coffee
And looking through notebooks
52
Twenty-eight and still too scared
To say thrice into the mirror,
“Bloody Mary?”
53
Moon at an acme
That no company could match —
Din of merger news
54
Kerouac’s best haiku
Were the ones that went
Uncollected
55
A retreat
Into alcoholism, no
Not me
Actually, my knee is aching, and so is my back. I’ve been packing things. Got up at 4:34. The garbage truck. Did you hear it? Banging mechanical arm, squealing brakes, beeping as it backs up. That’s the last time I’ll ever hear it. I’m drinking some iced coffee. Ate a slice of toast with peanut butter. Have showered, taken the pizza box to the trash, updated my blog. Wow, I’m nearly ready to start drinkin’ again though it’s only 8:50.
Bad heartburn, though. Need to get some meds for that, pepto or Immodium, Tagamet? Don’t think I’ve ever had Tagamet. Drinking some water. Was not dehydrated this morning although I rinsed out four cans of Guinness, a bottle of pinot grigio, a couple Red Hook IPAs, a Bud Light, a big Lagunitas IPA, and our highball glasses...
1
The morning fit with fog —
Morro's stacks and stone
just barely visible
2
Tide goes in and out —
never the same,
always the same
3
Standing on rocks
waiting for the tide
to go down
4
Sketching the ocean,
my fingers wet
with charcoal
5
Felled by beer,
I pass out while it's still light
in California
46
Royal Success Systems —
Convincing people
That their graffiti is art
47
Dog ears appear
From the heart of a sleeping ball —
Truck w/ trailer passes by
48
Drove out to the
Country for some air —
Coming back, the city ahaze
49 (after Kerouac)
In the Belleville house,
My father’s
Abominable yawns
50
Is my head back this far?
I was just now having
The night’s first beer
My body is in
perfect balance right now
but I miss all radiators.
We’ll drink together
(said one radiator to another)
and the heating oil inside us
will go up by as much as
thirty-two dollars a barrel.
They both chuckle like wineslaves.
I awake to the sounds of a coup.
41
My favorite poets
Had their own problems—
How reassuring
42
This is just an act
Me sitting here stoned and drunk
In the chair
43
Hey, aren’t the zinnias
Pretty?
Let’s have another drink
44
As I watch The War,
I decide to skip dinner—
The battle of my bulge
45
Bare nail in wall
Where my painting hung—
Now I see the sun
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