Watching Twin Peaks

by John R and Adam E

(Jazz is playing somewhat loud in the background, Miles Davis blaring a trumpet. J and A are sitting in some basic, spare chairs, a room removed from a living room with more comfortable chairs, carpet, and a television.)

J: It was like, ah, what were you just sayin?

A: Yeah.

J: Yeah.

A: I’ve been talking a lot of shit for no reason. It’s like funny things come out of my mouth. I think I’ve just been, like, explaining all my thoughts. I don’t, I don’t even know why I shared that, that ah, I can’t really discern what to share right now. Would, ah, playin pool be any fun or did you want to start watching “Twin Peaks?”

J: I’m ready for “Twin Peaks.”

A: You can have some of this or you can have some of that. Alright. Let’s move over there, if you’re down. Or, you can stay there and…

J: (Mouth is full on submarine sandwich)

A: Eat those pretzels. (Laughs)


J: See, I have a bad, a bad memory of him.

A: Oh, Ok. Oh really? Yeah, well he’s not a great guy. But…but, ah, he introduced, well we smoked a lot anway and we would always have this thing, like, usually when you’re smokin weed you leave this trail of consumption ‘cause usually you just go through like weed and stuff, ya know…I can just see how people, you know, get locked in to a trail of consumption and it’s really… Anyway, he’s coming up for WILD.

J: Oh really.

A: Yeah. And I told him— I told you this cause, ah— I was trying to get some absinthe. But that was based on whether or not I won that book collection, which I still haven’t heard about and it’s already Friday, and it pisses me off. Everything is conducive to everything else. But anyways, he’s coming back up for WILD. Are you guys not friends?

J: No—

A: He’s made a lot of enemies. I wasn’t really—

J: I— I don’t really—

A: I mean, it’s not like he’d say anything. Well, he’s coming up anyway. I’m not going to be sitting with Beta: that’s for sure. I don’t know what I’m going to be doing at WILD. I think I might go with a girl, which I’ve never done before. So fuck it.

J: I don’t know if I’m even gonna go.

A: I mean, Crazytown’s, it’s gonna be a blast John, it’s gonna be a blast.

J: I mean, I don’t know who they are; I don’t care who they are.

A: Exactly. This WILD is like the ultimate bullshit. I don’t know what I’m gonna have to be on to enjoy it. ‘Cause WILDs are shit. Some of ‘em are good, but especially this one…

J: Did you follow any of the, ah—(Adam starts coughing)—what Bill and— ah, what Taylor and Bengaly were going back and forth about WILD bands.

A: Last year?

J: No, it was earlier this year.

A: I caught them last year. I mean, I know that dude always gets flack. Are you guys friends?

J: Who?

A: Bengaly?

J: No.

A: He’s Stud Life, though, isn’t he?

J: Mm-hm.

A: You know what’s funny on our tape? Is that, ah, toothpick and you’re smokin weed. That audio tape I have from last time, last week. And you say, “I had a toothpick last week.” (Laughs) And it was so natural, it was the most natural thing you said.

J: Hm.

A: Are we gettin Kramer, cause you said earlier…

J: Mm-hm.

A: Are these the actual tapes or are these recorded? These are your recorded ones, right?

J: No.

A: This is Ray’s original? That you bought for fuckin Christmas. For some reason I thought there were two copies floating around. I know Phil has one.

J: Oh, yeah, yeah. Phil does have a copy. I don’t know what I’m talking about.

(J gets up and turns off the music; at some point earlier, John and Adam moved into the living room and sat in the more comfortable chairs)

J: Alright Miles. (As he turns off the music)

A: That’s a great fucking shot right there. I’ve never noticed that. You know where you see that? You see that somewhere else…shit…maybe I was looking at the cover of the box, I don’t know.

J: Yeah, I don’t know.

A: You know that painting I was talking about at the coffee shop?

J: (John has a quizzical look)

A: Nevermind. I’ll show it to you at some point, but we’re not going to talk about it. I’ll fuckin have to write that down, otherwise I’ll forget about it. They took down my favorite painting in that place. It’s gone.

J: (Burp)

(From the television, the idyllic “Twin Peaks” theme starts up)

A: I looked up shit on Joan Chen. She’s pretty much been like a standard actress for like the last three decades.

(Both of them laugh)

A: Hasn’t done anything of worth, but ah, like, she did some shit on cooking last year, for the holidays…(laugh) I’m gonna get this out before this comes on. (laughing) Oh shit. But she directed something that’s supposed to be really good. That’s all I really wanted to say. Ok.

(The show is now in progress)

A: That’s that old lady, the log lady.

J: No, that wasn’t the log lady.

A: Fuck it, I really am not going to be able to watch this.

J: That’s…

A: Directed by Tim Hunter…? Fuck.

J: Who’s that?

A: Did you ever see that before? Maybe it’s just this episode.

J: It’s probably…

A: Fuck. Do you know who Tim Hunter is?

J: No.

A: Weird fucking guy. All I know is, I’ll tell you this real quick.

(The phone starts ringing from the next room; John goes over to it)

J: Hold on.

(Second ring, third ring, fourth; John comes back into the living room)

J: I’m not gonna get that.

A: He did something called River’s Edge, like 1989, Keanu Reeves is in it. It’s a stoner movie. Dennis Hopper is in it. Ah, he’s got this really weird, quirky—I wouldn’t say quirky actually—I think, he just does a lot of whatever—he’s, he’s a, I kind of see how he goes with Lynch though. The seem like compatible directors.

J: What was the other thing that we were talking about?

A: Joan Chen?

J: (Laughs,) yeah we were talking about Joan Chen, but something else…

A: Before that?

J: Oh, that girl, it wasn’t the log lady. That’s Laura Palmer’s cousin. She just came into town; looks just like ‘er.

A: Oh, Ok. Different actress though?

J: No.

A: Ok.

J: So it’s s’poseta be Laura Palmer’s cousin.

A: Ok.

(The “Twin Peaks” episode continues on in the background. The soap opera within the show, “Invitation to Love,” comes on. Lucy is watching it.)

A: I thought about this. I’ll tell you later. I know what “Invitation to Love” is all about.

(Sheriff Truman says to Lucy, “What’s going in?” She launches into a rundown of the show’s convoluted plot. Truman says gruffly, “No. What’s going on here?)

A: Ok. Does it matter…?

J: Does what matter?

A: Should I have gotten any of that?

J: Hm?

A: I didn’t get any of that.

J: Get any of what?

A: What she just said.

J: Oh. I didn’t get any of it.

A: It’s not important? It’s just rattling off?

J: Yeah, she’s just giving the plot of the “Invitation to Love.”

A: Oh! Ok.

J: He just walked in and is like, “What’s goin on?”

A: Oh, what’s going on here. Ok.

J: And she just explained—

A: Ok, yeah, yeah, yeah…. I’m just…

J: Wh—

A: I’m just gonna say one thing. You know how he has two different-tinted lenses. We were talking about, like, 75 percent off. Oh. I’m almost for certain that, ah, Audrey has got two different eyes. But maybe I’m just over-seeing that. But whatever it is that I can’t place, it’s still, there’s something off. Which is, if, if we end up doing something like this, it’s making it so seemless that you can’t tell. ‘Cause I’ve been trying to pinpoint it and there’s something always you can’t put a finger on with this. (Clears throat) And trying to make something like that. I mean, what is it that we can’t always put a finger on? But that, that’s the quality that it has to have.

(They quiet down and focus their attention on the show)

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