I. In front of the Press

Well, Stan’s Ambassador to
the U.N. can kiss my ass. He’s
totally out of control and it’s
making me uncomfortable.

But didn’t Stan’s President
attempt to befriend
Your President as a pen-pal?

The details of that letter
have not been disclosed.
Really—if you must know—
the negotiations have
centered on complex tax
issues and convoluted
stock swaps.

What about the price of oil?

What is oil at these days? Frankly,
I don’t know. (I sold my tank
and got a hybrid.)


II. At home

When I lie dormant I think:
if I had to get two things
from Stan, right this second,
it’d be rugs and pistachios.

And oil, maybe some of
that oil he makes beneath.

But when I kick those habits?
Stan’ll be on his knees.
He’ll be begging.


III. On the street

I ran into Stan on the street
the other day. His hair was
uncombed and he was shouting
Death to California,
the Great Satan.

Stan, what’re you
doing? It’s really

I’m trying to en-
rich uranium.

Well go to the park
and do it
go to the park and
do it for
purposes of civilian power.


IV. On the Corner

I’ll just sit here on the
corner with my
rugs and pistachios,
goin through dollars like a
grade school goes through
fish sticks on Friday.

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